It can be tough watching CNBC and reading stock market articles without knowing the proper terms. Here are some helpful pointers:
- Profit-taking: All-purpose explanation for why the market went down.
- Correction: A major market crash made to sound like a minor mistake.
- Momentum investor: Buyer of stuff that’s already gone up.
- Value investor: Buyer of stuff that looks like it’ll never go up.
- Broker: What you’ll be, if you follow their advice.
- Financial consultant: Broker trying to appear respectable.
- Financial planner: Financial consultant who might actually be respectable.
- The smart money: Owners of whatever has lately performed well. No permanent members.
- Federal Reserve: Extremely powerful, like God, and also moves in strange and mysterious ways.
- Warren Buffett: Widely admired investor who is often quoted by lesser mortals seeking to buttress their arguments.
- Futures: Trade these too much, and you won’t have one.
- Collectibles: Justification for buying things that will never appreciate in value, but you really, really want.
- Stock options: A way for senior executives to get rich.
- Hedge funds: Like mutual funds, except with much higher fees. But the bragging rights are priceless.
- Cash-value life insurance: Great strategy for retirement, assuming you’re an insurance agent and you can sell enough of these policies.
- Variable annuities: Chance for ordinary investors to pay hedge-fund-like fees.
- Commodities: Pigs with lipstick.
Excerpted from Jonathan Clements in the Wall Street Journal (subscription required), found via No Money In Poetry.





Back in May, legislation was passed that allows Traditional IRAs to be converted to Roth IRAs without any income restrictions in 2010. Previously, this conversion was only available to taxpayers with adjusted gross incomes of $100,000 or less, no matter if you’re married or single. You even get two years to pay the taxes on the conversion. One of the more detailed articles I’ve seen written about this change is this
In geek speak, the term “noise” is any disturbance that interferes with or prevents reception of a signal, like the static on your cell phone. In the financial world, the intended signal is trying to tell us how to best accumulate wealth, and the interference is 95% of what you hear from the media. Forbes Magazine’s Mutual Fund Honor Roll? Well-packaged noise. Jim Cramer of Mad Money? Annoying noise. This is according to Chapter 18 of
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